When the Past Still Hurts: How Unresolved Trauma Shows Up in Your Body & Relationships
Trauma doesn’t just live in the past—it lives in the body, in the way we react to situations, in the relationships we struggle with, and in the triggers we don’t always understand. Many of us, especially in Latinx and BIPOC communities, have been taught to push through, to keep going, to not talk about what hurt us. “Eso ya pasó” (That’s in the past) or “Hay que aguantar” (You have to endure) are common phrases that dismiss our pain rather than help us heal.
But trauma doesn’t disappear just because we don’t talk about it. It shows up in ways we might not even recognize as trauma responses. If you’ve ever wondered, Am I still carrying wounds from my past?, here are some signs that you might have unresolved trauma.
1. Your Body Is Holding the Pain
Trauma isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. Our bodies store the experiences we couldn’t process at the time. For many BIPOC folks, we’ve been raised in environments where survival came first, and our bodies learned to carry stress as a way to protect us. Over time, this can lead to:
Chronic pain (especially in the neck, shoulders, back, or stomach)
Frequent headaches or migraines
Trouble sleeping or feeling exhausted no matter how much you rest
Digestive issues (because stress and trauma directly impact the gut)
Feeling numb or disconnected from your body
If you grew up in a household where expressing emotions wasn’t safe or where you had to be “strong” all the time, your body may still be holding onto that tension. That tightness in your chest? The pit in your stomach? It’s your body reminding you that there’s something deeper that needs attention.
2. You Have Intense Reactions to Certain Situations (AKA Triggers)
Ever had a moment where something small set you off, and you weren’t sure why? Maybe someone raised their voice, and suddenly, your heart was pounding. Or a certain smell, song, or place made you feel uneasy, even though nothing “bad” was happening in the moment.
These are triggers—emotional and physical reactions to unresolved trauma. Triggers can look like:
Shutting down or feeling like you need to leave the situation immediately (fight/flight/freeze response)
Getting defensive or lashing out when someone gives you feedback
Feeling anxious or panicked over things that seem minor to others
Avoiding places, people, or situations that remind you of past pain
For many in the Latinx and BIPOC communities, our triggers can be tied to cultural experiences—being told to “respect” family members who harmed us, witnessing violence or instability growing up, or feeling like we had to suppress parts of ourselves to fit in. If you notice strong emotional reactions that don’t seem to match the situation, it might be your body and mind responding to something unprocessed from the past.
3. Your Relationships Feel Difficult or Unfulfilling
Unresolved trauma affects how we connect with others. If you grew up in a home where love felt conditional, boundaries were nonexistent, or conflict meant danger, you might notice these patterns showing up in your adult relationships. Trauma can make relationships feel:
Too intense or distant. You might get attached too quickly or struggle to open up at all.
Full of people-pleasing. You put others’ needs first, even when it hurts you.
Hard to trust. You assume people will hurt or abandon you, even if they haven’t.
Emotionally draining. You end up in relationships where you have to “fix” or take care of others.
Many of us were raised to believe that love meant sacrificing ourselves. We saw our parents or grandparents endure unhealthy relationships because “Así es la vida” (That’s just how life is). But healing means learning that love shouldn’t cost us our peace.
Healing Is Possible
If any of this resonates with you, know this: You are not broken. You are responding to things your body, mind, and heart haven’t fully processed yet. And you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy, body-based healing (like EMDR, breathwork, or somatic therapy), and community support can help you move through these wounds in a way that honors your lived experience.
In our cultures, we carry so much—generational trauma, unspoken pain, expectations to be “strong” at all times. But healing is resistance. Choosing to acknowledge and work through your trauma is an act of self-love and liberation.
You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel whole. You deserve to heal.
If you’re ready to start your healing journey, I’m here. Let’s do this together. 💛✨