Being an Autism Mom: Honoring the Love, the Reality, and the Hope

April is Autism Awareness Month, and as the mom of a young adult on the spectrum, I want to take a moment to share a piece of my heart.

Raising a child with autism has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. It hasn’t always been easy. It hasn’t always looked the way I imagined parenting would look. But it has been deeply beautiful—because through my child, I’ve learned to see the world in a whole new way.

The Silent Grief So Many Parents Carry

Let’s be honest about something that doesn’t get said out loud often enough: sometimes there’s grief. Not because our children are broken or because we love them any less—but because we’re human.

There’s grief in watching neurotypical kids go through milestones our children haven’t reached yet, or may never reach. We grieve for the birthday parties without friends, the conversations we may never have, the everyday moments that many families take for granted.

That grief doesn’t mean we’re ungrateful. It means we’re parents. And we feel deeply. And we love hard.

My Response to RFK Jr.'s Harmful Comments

Recently, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said this about children with autism:

“Autism destroys families… These are kids who will never pay taxes. They'll never hold a job. They'll never play baseball. They'll never write a poem. They'll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted.”

As a mother, these words pierced my heart. And I need to respond—not with anger, but with truth.

Autism does not destroy families. Shame does. Stigma does. Lack of support does.

But autism itself? Autism has transformed my family in powerful, beautiful, and challenging ways. And my son—like so many others—is not a tragedy. He is not doomed. He is not a waste of potential.

He is loving. He is curious. He teaches me patience, presence, and what it means to love someone exactly as they are.

And let’s be clear: Many children with autism do pay taxes. They do write poetry. They do go on dates, graduate from school, get married, build businesses, advocate for others, and change the world.

And even if our kids don’t follow that exact path, their lives are still valuable. Their humanity is not defined by productivity, or milestones, or bathroom independence. Their worth is not up for debate.

I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for my child’s autism. Because of him, I see beauty in the smallest things. I find joy in progress I used to overlook. I’ve learned to let go of expectations and be fully present in what is.

Caregivers Need Care, Too

Here’s the other truth: being a parent or caregiver to someone with autism can be exhausting. We carry a lot. The advocacy, the appointments, the constant thinking about what comes next. And sometimes, it can feel incredibly lonely.

So I want to say this if no one else has told you lately: You matter too. Your mental health matters. Your rest matters. Finding your own support—whether through therapy, support groups, or even just time to yourself—is not selfish. It’s necessary.

You Are Not Alone

One of the most healing things for me has been finding other moms who get it. Moms I don’t have to explain things to. Moms who understand the heartbreak and the joy, sometimes all in the same hour.

If you haven’t found your circle yet, I promise—it’s out there. And until then, I want you to know:

You’re not alone. You are doing enough. Your child’s journey may not look like anyone else’s, but it’s still sacred.

And so is yours.

With love, — Rosa